Florida Man Rips Urinal Off Wall, Strips Naked And Runs Off Into Nearby Woods

Just your average Monday night in Florida.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Sean Murphy (Getty)

It all depends on what Florida Man laces his meth with, but it will apparently on occasion give him superhuman strength.

According to the Tallahassee Democrat, concerned staff at Miller’s Ale House in Tallahassee called police Monday night after a man in his 20s allegedly walked into the men’s room around 11 p.m., ripped a urinal from the wall, emerged from the bathroom soaking wet, ran into the parking lot, took off all of his clothes and then beelined it for the woods.

Florida Man Rips Urinal Off Wall, Strips Naked And Runs Off Into Nearby Woods

When police arrived, they interviewed the staff and all of them gave them the same story that began with the urinal being ripped from the wall and ended with the dude streaking into the woods. Surprisingly, the police were unable to find the man’s clothes, but there was surveillance footage that backed up the staff’s story.

Police are still considering it an open investigation and are hoping somebody out there can help. If they wind up finding the sick fuck, he’ll be charged with criminal mischief, which seems quite lenient everything considered. I mean, if that guy dicked up my place that bad, I’d hope they would go after him with something a little harder than that.

Just another day in Florida: Florida Woman Shoots Naked Intruder Covered In His Own Poop