Photo: Universal Pictures
Even four years since the loss of Paul Walker to a real-life car collision, ironically after so many years of very fast and even more furious street racing on the big screen, it doesn’t get any easier to watch 2001’s The Fast and the Furious, a film which defies the laws of physics, as well as rational thinking. Is it the worst blockbuster in decades? Not quite, but it has potential when characters say things like “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time.”
Even though the film is part of one of the highest-grossing franchises, as well as a breakthrough performance for most of its cast (especially Walker and co-lead, Vin Diesel), there are far too many ut-oh moments for a 106-minute movie, including tuna on white with no crust, skank smelling, pink slip betting and beer brand prejudice/product placement. HBO is currently streaming the original film, chock full of some of the cheesiest one-liners and pick-up lines in the history of cinema, much of which has been phased out of recent installments, which feature less street racing and more heists and law enforcement pursuit.
From the start to the finish line, we recap the most memorable movie moments we wish we could erase from our minds, and we’re doing it with 14 hilarious GIFs, of course. As a holiday bonus, we added on sequel moments to further our disdain. Despite less talk about cars, fewer nitrous boosts and a lot more hand-to-hand combat and explosions, and the fact the “Fast” movies are making more money than ever, it’s still tough to get through four minutes of the 16-year-old movie. May we suggest you fast forward (very fast, and very furiously).