Photo: Drew Angerer/Getty Images
It’s always a good day when something negative happens to Martin Shkreli, that’s why it was a glorious day when he got hit in the face with poop. But now be ready to smile because Shkreli has been sent to jail after he said he would pay anyone who brought him a lock of Hillary Clinton’s hair $5,000. And that was enough for a judge to toss him behind bars.
Brooklyn Federal Judge Kiyo Matsumoto revoked Shkreli’s $5 million on Wednesday and then proceeded to scold the hell out of him.
“The fact that he continues to remain unaware of the inappropriateness of his actions or words demonstrate to me he may well be an ongoing danger or risk to the community,” Matsumoto said, adding that Shkreli’s call for Clinton’s hair would “cause a reasonable person to have concern.”
Shkreli insisted his call for Clinton’s hair was a joke and satire that meant no harm. He apologized in a letter to the court. The judge was unmoved.
“He should be apologizing to the government and Secretary Clinton,” she said.
The judge found the comments by the former pharmaceutical firm’s CEO wasn’t protected First Amendment speech — it was an invitation for crime.
“He is soliciting an assault on another person in exchange for $5,000,” Matsumoto said. “I can’t say with any certainty that the threats have not been taken seriously by anybody.”
The more Shkreli heard Matsumoto’s comments, the more slumped and stone-faced he became. Shkreli, already looking grim, sagged slightly when he heard the decision to remand him. It sent gasps through the courtroom.
Ben Brafman, Shkreli’s lawyer, tried to plea with the Matsumoto but Matsumoto thankfully didn’t change his mind.
Shkreli will be sentenced on January 16. And the news of all this led Twitter to roast Shkreli to pieces. Take a look.
Everyone on Twitter seeing Pharma dumbass Martin Shkreli is going to jail. pic.twitter.com/qaHalsXGBs
— Erick Fernandez (@ErickFernandez) September 13, 2017
Martin Shkreli is in the new again today. Do you realize how hard it is to STAND OUT as an asshole in 2017.
— Tim Hanlon (@TimfromDa70s) September 14, 2017
Martin Shkreli is in jail.
Sorry. No point to make. I just like that sentence.
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) September 14, 2017
The first guy with diabetes Martin Shkreli sees in jail… pic.twitter.com/PXssfgkR5r
— Bo Jiden (@shrimpfingers) September 13, 2017
Martin Shkreli going to jail for Hillary Clinton threat got us today like… pic.twitter.com/2H8X3E88Kq
— (((merida montero))) (@Goodluckbeer) September 14, 2017
Martin Shkreli is going to jail.
Planet earth be like: pic.twitter.com/N61c1cNt78
— Matthew Solo (@LegitMillennial) September 14, 2017
I dont think Martin Shkreli is going to make many friends in prison with his “I’m a smug jerk’ routine.
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) September 13, 2017
Martin Shkreli getting indirectly defeated by Hillary Clinton is giving me great joy.
— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 13, 2017
no matter how many times martin shkreli goes to jail it’s always so so good
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) September 13, 2017
(Morgan Freeman voice): Martin Shkreli crawled through five football fields worth of shit, but hilariously drowned 3 inches from freedom. https://t.co/9VvmJjXDUz
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 13, 2017