10 Insufferable Cities That Desperately Need To Be Purged (In A Safe And Nonviolent Manner)

Purge, baby, purge!

Matt Branhamby Matt Branham
Photo: FXX

For those of us who saw¬†The Purge and thought it made a whole lot of sense, it got us thinking: Maybe it’s time we purged some of our most insufferable cities who need it desperately. Now, we know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong, so stop thinking it. We intend on this being a safe, orderly and harmless, nonviolent procedure. Kind of.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, the basic plot is as follows: “In an America ravaged by crime and overcrowded prisons, the government sanctions an annual 12-hour period during which all criminal activity — including murder — is legal.” Now, let’s take out murder, name-calling, pushing, shoving and malevolent behavior, whether passive or aggressive, and we think we’re really onto something here.

The cities we’ve chosen are of the unbiased variety, wherein we chose each for a specific reason(s), be it overpopulation, traffic road diets, totes¬†sbros, hipster dufasses, airborne STDs, or simply an oversized ego. If you’re afraid you’re living in a purge-worthy zone, get out now and help save your city, lest it burn like the insufferable hellhole it is with you in it. We mean that in a nonliteral, metaphorical way, of course. So how will you help purge your city today?

10 Insufferable Cities That Desperately Need To Be Purged (In A Safe And Nonviolent Manner)

And another thing: 10 Popular Summer Vacation Cities in America That Straight Up Suck