This Statue Of Cristiano Ronaldo Outside Of An Airport Makes Him Look Like Sloth From ‘The Goonies’

Who was in charge of making this thing, a six-year-old kid?

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Francisco Leong (Getty)

You would think that for all Cristiano Ronaldo has done for the game of soccer, football, fútbol or whatever you call it in your neck of the woods, the precision of any statue or bust being erected bearing his resemblance would be top notch, especially when that statue or bust was being placed outside of the international airport on the Portuguese island where such a legend on the pitch was from.

Well, it turns out we were all way off in that thinking but not as far off as whoever decided that Ronaldo looks like this:

Photo: Francisco Leong (Getty)

Photo: Francisco Leong (Getty)

That’s right, kids. Ronaldo was on hand this morning as the Madeira International Airport on his home island of Madeira (obviously) was renamed in his honor and officially became Aeroporto Cristiano Ronaldo, and that is the new bronze bust of him that will stand on a plinth outside the airport.

Who knows? Maybe Ronaldo was shitting his pants or getting a teammate’s thumb jammed up his ass in the picture the artist used when creating the bust. Or maybe the guy or girl who created the statue is blind or just a huge FC Barcelona fan, and this was his or her way of getting back at the guy who has been an absolute dream crusher since 2009.


Photo: Francisco Leong (Getty)

Whatever it may be, if that bust looks exactly like Ronaldo, then I’ve got a 12-inch dick.


This one is pretty spot on: A Naked Donald Trump Statue Is Hanging Out In Major Cities