Is Masturbating At Work The New Norm?

This is why I work from home.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: lolostock (Getty)

I guess I’ll see your four smoke breaks a day and raise you one.

According to Ravishly, a recent survey conducted by Time Out New York revealed that 39 percent of guys punch their clowns at work on a regular basis. That’s up from a 2012 Glamour survey in which 31 percent of workers said they take a trip to the restroom to masturbate.

Is Masturbating At Work The New Norm?

Photo: KatarzynaBialasiewicz (Getty)

Photo: KatarzynaBialasiewicz (Getty)

And while on the surface it might seem rather absurd that your cubemate would be taking time out of his workday to go crank one out in the company shitter, there’s this little tidbit that might make you look at it differently:

“Although it might seem taboo, there’s evidence that masturbation is actually good for workers — and their employers. Critics suggest that engaging in self-gratification decreases productivity, but the exact opposite is true. Not only have regular breaks been shown to create a more healthy workflow, but masturbation has particular physiological benefits that boost output and creativity, whether that’s at the office (in the privacy of the single-occupancy bathroom, please) or telecommuting from home.”

Hey if that’s what it takes to land the next million-dollar client, then I say go for it. I would just bring the sharing of my bag of Fritos to an immediate stop.

Getting caught jerking it in the hospital three times in one hour would be quite embarrassing: 13 Horrifying (But Hilarious) Stories About Getting Caught Masturbating