4 Reasons Why You Should Buy Saints Row The Third

Just in case you've been putting it off, I will sway you in the correct direction.

Nash Herringtonby Nash Herrington

You don’t need to be reminded that the past couple of months have been chock-full of gaming goodness. While it’s quite difficult to complain about being bombarded with quality titles such as Battlefield 3, Uncharted 3, Akrham City and Skyward Sword, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to give each release any ample playing time when there’s another one beckoning us just around the corner. So while the majority will find themselves holed up playing Skyrim and Modern Warfare 3, games such as the reportedly excellent Rayman Origins will inevitably slip by the wayside.

One game that has many debating over whether it will be a success or not is Saints Row The Third, the latest instalment in the knowingly silly Saints Row series which, despite previous releases teetering on that awkward line between greatness and mediocrity, has still managed to garner itself a solid fan base.

Despite not being viewed as a firm competitor to the Game of the Year crown, I still believe that “The Third” is worth a place on your shelf, so I’m therefore going to use my knowledgeable opinions/baseless intuition in an attempt to part you with your hard-earned cash.

Here are 4 reasons why you should buy Saints Row The Third.

It’s silly. You like silly, right?

You’re the kind of guy who appreciates a good old nonsensical episode of Family Guy, and who may have a couple of “wacky” t-shirts lingering in the back of his wardrobe. Remember that one that said “If found, please return to the pub”? Ha ha. What a loon you are.

If your humour is firmly rooted in the gutter, then chances are that you’ll enjoy thwarting enemies with a giant purple dildo. If not then I’m sure you can at least appreciate a game that isn’t grey, brown, or po-faced.

That “bad movie” appeal

The last 2 Saints Row games weren’t technically good games but, much in the same way that no one watches Troll 2 for the acting, the main reason for booting them up wasn’t to experience an enthralling narrative or tight gameplay, but to just have a bit of fun.

As is the case with those terrible-yet-somehow-brilliant cult movies, the Saints Row titles haven’t been fun to play in spite of their flaws, they’ve actually been fun to play because of them. While it would be nice to see The Third refined a little (which early reviews have led us to believe that it has been), I still would like to see my motorbike awkwardly/hilariously glitch through the wall every now and again.

Multiplayer co-op

Everything is better when you can bring a friend along. Well, not everything – sex with your girlfriend might not be the best thing to have your buddy sitting in on (unless you’re into that sort of thing), but most things are better when done with a friend; this rings especially true in the world of gaming.

Now I know a lot of you might be sick and tired of this whole multiplayer craze, and long for the days when single-player wasn’t referred to as a “campaign” that lasts for around 47 minutes (43 if it’s a Call of Duty title), but this is my article so you’re going to just have to take it as verbatim when I tell you that co-operative multiplayer improves every game. Saints Row is no exception, and has always been drastically improved when its obscenities and lunacy is confronted arm-in-arm with a pal. Aw, ain’t that sweet.

Character Creation!

When a game demo consists solely of its character creation tools, you know that what aspect of the title the developers are trying to push. And who could blame them? When you allow the player to alter everything from their skin tone (which can be changed to a garish metallic blue) to the size of their wang, you have a right to be proud of it.

Whereas in other well honed creation tools, such as the one seen in the annual SmackDown! Games for instance, you can create wrestlers that look just a bit weird, kind of like a guy who you’d expect to see sniffing his fingers at a bus stop.

In Saints Row The Third, however, you can create a genuine monster, and in a world where gamers are all too eager to earn achievement points and buy their avatar virtual clothing in order to impress their fellow online players, I can’t wait to show off my Saints Row abomination. Sporting a club foot, a head the size of a garage and a mammoth penis thoroughly wasted on a man with all the sex appeal of a wet sock, “Trevor”, as I shall call him, will be as skilful with a gun as he is downright hideous. Be prepared to find him online this week, lying on the pavement and begging you to kill him.